


The Roller Coaster Adventure

by VickyD



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Funny, Gen, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 12:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2269689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VickyD/pseuds/VickyD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Abu Dhabi 2014.<br/>Sebastian and Christian want to visit Ferrari World. But things don't go the way they expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Roller Coaster Adventure

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm new here: this is my very first fanfiction in this website, but also the first in the F1 fandom. As long as english is not my native language, probably there will be some grammar mistakes in the text. Please feel free to let me know what I did wrong.  
> I had so much fun writing this! I hope you'll like my story as much as I do.  
> Enjoy!

November 20th. It was a shiny and hot morning in Abu Dhabi.  
It was supposed to be the last free practice friday of the season, but actually it wasn't. Due to some technical problems at the circuit, the race wouldn't take place that weekend, but it had been postponed by the FIA to the next one.  
Everyone was relaxed and confident at Red Bull. The car had been quite good so far and the drivers and the employees decided to take advantage of the spare week to review the strategy and fix a few problems. Sebastian was sitting outside the garage with his can in the hand, as usual. He was bored. He had spoken to the engineers and to his physio, did a few laps with his car, and then he called her girlfriend and daughter on Skype. But, done these things, he remained with nothing else to do.  
So he sat down and people-watched, but he found nobody to have a talk with. Seb stayed there for a while and as soon as he stood up, tired of doing nothing, he saw Fernando walking while chatting and laughing with Felipe. He decided to join them.  
"Hi guys! What are you doing?", he exclaimed, waving.  
"Nothing special. Like everyone here, we don't have anything to do", Alonso replied, tiredly.  
"We were talking about how spend the afternoon", Felipe continued. "We will probably have a stroll at Ferrari World...".  
Seb's eyes widened. Ferrari World! He always wanted to visit it and ride one of the fastest roller coasters on Earth! He had never found the right occasion to go before, but, he thought, maybe the moment had come.  
"Wow! How cool! Can I come with you?"  
The former and actual Ferrari drivers looked at each other. He had surprised them.  
"Actually... We... Mmm... Have to...", they stammered, looking for excuses, not wanting him around.  
Sebastian was more and more confused.  
"Oh, almost forgot! I really must ask back the pen I lent to Valtteri! He is such a cheeky stationery thief!", Felipe exclaimed, running away.  
So Seb turned towards Fernando, who blushed quickly.  
"And I... I need to hyde the champagne bottles, or Kimi will drink them all!", he said with insecurity. Then he started walking in the opposite direction.  
"Err... Ok guys. See you later, then", Seb responded, now alone.  
Why were they suddenly become so vague?  
He started walking towards the paddock, thinking whom he could go to the park with.  
A few minutes later, he met a bored Christian Horner. The boss asked him where he was going and Seb revealed him his desire of going on the Ferrari World's roller coaster.  
"If nobody comes with you, we can go together. I have nothing to do too!", Christian said.  
Seb felt immediatly relived.  
So, shortly after, they took the car and drove to the park.  
There wasn't a long queue at the ticket office, so in a few minutes they arrived in front of a beautiful arabian ticket- seller lady.  
"Two tickets, please", Chris asked her.  
The woman raised her head from the desk and looked at them.  
Then something strange happened.  
At first she seemed confused and, after telling them to wait, she looked for something in a drawer under the table. Shortly after, she took out a black folder. She turned some pages before stopping in front of two large photos.  
Her eyes widened, and the two men looked at each other, shrugging the shoulders.  
"Sorry for asking sir", she started. "But... Err... Are you Mr. Horner from Red Bull Racing? And is your companion Sebastian Vettel?"  
They nodded smiling at the unusual question of the woman.  
She shook her head and sneered.  
"Can you stay here for a moment?", she asked, at the same time worried and amused. She grabbed the phone and whispered something in arabian, the grin still on her pretty face.  
Chris and Sebastian looked at each other again: that situation was becoming more and more strange.  
Thirty seconds later four big men appeared. They were wearing black suits and earphones with microphones. They seemed to be very muscular and strong.  
"Who are they? Secret agents?", Seb thought. But soon his questions solved itself.  
The guards started to run towards them, holding guns and crying "LET'S GET THEM! LET'S GET THOSE IDIOTS!"  
When they reached the place, they grabbed Seb and Christian's arms, to keep them still.  
"Oh, what's going on? Please free us! We did nothing wrong! We just wanted to ride the roller coaster!", Seb cried nervously.  
"This wasn't meant to happen! This must be a mistake!", Chris tried to say, with the only result of a thighter lock of the guards.  
He was about to ask explications when he heard someone talking.  
"How brave you are on coming here!", said calmly Luca di Montezemolo, who had just reached the place followed by the two Ferrari drivers, plus Massa.  
The four men were grinning sarcastically: this made Sebastian even more frightened. After a moment of silence, the italian boss started to explain the situation. "Gentlemen, here at Ferrari World we have some rules. The first of them says that the access to the park's attractions IS CATEGORICALLY FORBIDDEN to other motorsport teams' members".  
The only thing the two Red Bull men could think was: "WHAT THE F...?"  
Christian didn't believe his ears. It was the most stupid idea Ferrari could ever have.  
He looked at Sebastian, who was opening and closing his mouth, not sure on what to say: he was devasted.  
Then Chris asked, with the voice full of anger: "So why Felipe Massa is here? He drives for Williams now, if you hadn't noticed yet".  
"You're such a fool, mr. Horner. If you hadn't noticed yet, Felipe had stayed in our team for many years and he gave us a lot. So he will ever be welcome here". The italian man seemed to be looking at them with superiority. "Not as you".  
"But he did not win anything!", Seb exclaimed, without thinking. "He could just crash your precious red car...". Not letting him finish to say what he was saying, the guards pointed their heavy guns at the four-times-world champion's head. Christian locked his eyes.  
"It's fine, men. Put them down", the president ordered. He had yet enough of this situation.  
"We can escort you out by hook or by crook. Just decide".  
The two bosses looked each other into the pupils for a time that seemed to be eternity, the glance full of anger.  
"Is this going to end well?", Seb thought. Everyone looking at them could feel the heavy tension floating around the place.  
Then Chris turned and walked towards the exit. Sebastian's legs seemed to didn't want to move for nerves, so the security grabbed his RBR shirt and pushed him forward.  
"Do not try to come here again. This is an off-limits territory for you", Montezemolo declared once the two intruders were outside the gate. "I won't tell you another time. If someone will find you again inside, I'll be forced to take serious measures. Goodbye!".  
He turned, still followed by Kimi, Fernando and the security. Felipe Massa was still by the gate, looking straight into Seb's eyeballs, angryly. After sweeping his thumb over his neck, miming a knife, he ran to his fellows.  
The two looked at each other, both shocked.  
"Oh dear! What an adventure! It looked like an action movie, but way more ridiculous, didn't it?" Christian said to a really exhasperated Vettel.  
"This is not fair!!! I really wanted to ride that freakin' roller coaster! Aaargh!!!", he exclaimed, grabbing his friend's shoulders and shaking him.  
Chris was feeling the same. Because of Montezemolo's ego they had been kicked off the park like weak nerd boys in the popular guys' place at high school. Sebastian was right: this wasn't fair at all. Now he didn't just want to ride the coaster. He also wanted to show them whom they had just dealt with. And little by little some ideas appeared in his mind.  
"Don't worry, my dear. I promise, we will do it. I'll show Luca di Montezemolo who's the boss, even if it would be the very last thing I do".  
"But how can we do that?"  
"I have a plan".

\---

It was now matter of principle. Nobody could treat Christian Horner in that way. Period. He would not substate at Montezemolo's will just for those stupid and nonsense reasons.  
So as soon as they arrived at the Red Bull place, they locked themselves in a office. The two men lowered the shutters, so nobody could see them concocting the diabolical plan. Then, Christian took out a large sheet and a pencil and started drawing what he had in his cunning mind. Seb sat down and looked at the concentrate man.  
“What is he trying to do? What is he drawing? How can we enter in the park without without being caught? What time is the dinner?”, the german thought, rubbing his temples.  
After a few minutes the drawing was ready and Chris showed it to the driver proudly.  
“So? What do you think?”. Sebastian looked at the sheet for a while. Then laughed. “It’s freaking perfect”.  
They stayed into the office for hours, discussing and defining all the plan’s details. It was eleven o’clock when they got out, but it was worth: it was going to be succesful.  
The morning after, Christian called Daniel Ricciardo in his office: he needed to give his other driver a list of things to buy. At first he was confused and suspicious.  
“Why have I to buy two Ferrari shirts and hats, two pairs of fake moustaches, little italian flags, an italian dictionary and a remote-controlled bomb?”. Chris, who was at the same time nervous and excited for his revenge, suddenly got angry and exclaimed: “Don’t ask, just go. Oh, try to mention this to someone and I will take that stupid fake smile off your face!”. Daniel decided not to ask anything else. He  
lowered his head and went out with his mind full of curiosity.  
Everything was ready at noon. The two men got prepared and looked themselves at the mirror.  
The plan consisted in disguising as 100% italian Ferrari fans: red shirts, caps, plastic flags in hand and matching backpacks. Exactly like those obsessed nerd guys from Maranello and its surroundings. Then, after entering inside the park, they would sit in the front seat of the roller coaster. They would place the bomb (that was bought by Daniel in a secret shop of the arabian mafia) inside the wagon and make it esplode once outside Ferrari World.  
In order to avoid any recognization, Christian also had the fantastic idea of wearing fake moustaches. But Sebastian was perplexed.  
“How do you feel?”, Chris asked. “Mmm...I’m not sure my moustaches match hair color. Damnd platinum blond!".  
“Stop being so childish, we both look perfect". The driver kept looking himself in the mirror, with an unhappy expression on the face.  
“Please, understand me! I feel embarassed to go out dressed like this!”.  
Christian had gone mad for this "diabolical plan" and now he wanted it to work more than how he wanted his team to win the double-points race. He couldn't accept Sebastian's diva behaviour. He grabbed the neck of the driver's shirt. “Stop complaining!", he shouted. "Do you still want to ride that bloody roller coaster? Yes? So shut up, take the bomb and put it in the backpack!”.  
After making sure that nobody was around, they went to the circuit car park to steale a vehicle with an italian plate. Although Sebastian tried to explain his boss that is not possible to drive from Italy to Abu Dhabi, Chris wanted to make in his own way.  
The only one they found was a half-broken cheap city car, but, as Christian said, "better than nothing".  
They reached Ferrari World half an hour later (because of that crappy car) and parked as far from the entrance as possible. At this point Seb started feeling the nerves.  
“Are you sure they won’t recognize us? If it happens, we are dead, Chris!”. He was quite worried too, but even just thinking about what Montezemolo had done to them made the courage to go back to him.  
“Don’t worry "amico", trust the moustaches”.  
That day the queue was longer. They had a little more time to practise the conversation in italian they had studied the night before.  
“Due biglietti, per favore*”, Christian said teathrically.  
At the ticket office there was the same arabian lady of the day before and Seb was sweating cold, but luckily she gave them the tickets without any complain. Nevertheless, the hardest part was yet to come.  
The idoor part of the park was huge.  
It seemed to be somewhere in Italy. The two men looked around amazed and amused: most of the people in there (and they were A LOT) were dressed like them, with the only difference that they were absolutely proud of it. Christian was happy and satisfied: they wouldn't draw any attention. Slowly they made their way to the roller coaster's gate. The queue was infinite. Now they couldn't help but wait for their turn. Seb realised that he was dying of hunger, so he put out of his backpack some chips. Christian didn’t agree with his choice. He made him understand it trying hard not to freak out.  
“Oh no. No, no, no. Mmm mm. Nada. NO! Did I say you could eat this rubbish?". He took the pack out of his hands. "Have you ever heard of weight limits? You must stay fit, or you will get stuck in your car!” And handed to him some dried apple, that made Seb feel even sadder. "Ah, now he also wants to decide what I should eat", he thought, annoyed.  
When it came their turn, a steward with dark hair, moustaches and black sunglasses secured them in their seat. As planned, they were in the first wagon of the coaster. Another moustached steward with blond short hair handed them the protection glasses. After they went into the contol room, Christian took the bomb out of his backpack and placed it inside the wagon in order not to be seen. Then he grinned to his ally. “When we’ll be far enough from the park, press the button of the controller and the roller coaster will explode! Muhuhahahaha! Now enjoy the ride boy! You deserve it”.  
The ride was awsome. It had been fastastic (fast and fantastic) like a real F1 car. It was really worth being captured by body builder guards, being threatened by Luca di Montezemolo and to dress up like idiots. Seb had the time of his life. But when the ride ended, the unexpected happened.  
The two stewards didn’t unfasten them, so in a few seconds they were the only two people remained seated. That was strange.  
“Can somebody free us?” cried Vettel. Quickly the two stewards came, followed by an old janitor. He was carrying a black box with a red button over it. They stared at the two fake italians and grinned. “What’s going on?”, asked Chris worriedly. "As a joke this is not funny!".  
The stewards looked at each other and took off the sunglasses and the moustaches (which were fake like their ones), revealing Fernando Alonso and Kimi Raikkonen. The janitor followed. He unzipped his black suit and took off his hat: he was Montezemolo.  
They had been recognised.  
"What did you thought? We are not as stupid as you think", Luca exclaimed. "Fake moustaches had never deceived anyone except you two fools. Plus", he pointed the driver, "Your pair doesn't match your hair colour". Sebastian facepalmed. They really made crap of themselves. Chris started understanding that his brillant idea wasn't actually so brilliant: it ended in that awkward situation.  
Then Fernando spoke: "You, Christian Horner and Sebastian Vettel, had disobeyed our rules. So now it's time for you to have the ride that you wanted so much".  
"Good, now we are dead", the two unlucky men thought.  
Montezemolo handed the box to Kimi. He carefully put the index finger over the button, without pushing it.  
Chris and Seb were shocked. What would happen next? They prayed him, begged him, trying to explain their return with sudden-invented excuses, but he was icy as his nickname.  
"Now stop", he firmly answered. "And Goodbye. Have a nice landing".  
As he said that, the two poor unlucky men started screaming.  
And then they discovered what did the red button over the box do.  
When Kimi pressed it, suddently the two seats started to shake and after a few seconds, they ejected the two men out of the wagon. The height of their jump was unbelievable.  
"Adios amigos!", Alo exclaimed while giving high fives to his companions: the new Ferrari ejecting system had worked really well.  
The two flew over the park and passed the circuit. They landed in the sea, very close to a sheikh's mega-yacht.  
For the following days, Christian was pissed off like no one ever. Sebastian tried to comfort him.  
"Come on! In the and we went in that ride!". All of he got was a punch in the face.  
They had the lesson learned: never wear fake moustaches that doesn't match your hair colour when you are trying not to be discovered.  
The end

 

*Italian for "Two tickets, please".

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is really stupid. However, I hope you had a laugh reading it!  
> Don't forget to leave kudos or comments: I would love to know your thoughts!  
> Bye!


End file.
